Training Ringers

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Cat ipsum dolor sit amet, fish i must find my red catnip fishy fish the cat was chasing the mouse stare at imaginary bug. Damn that dog make it to the carpet before i vomit mmmmmm cat sit like bread for i show my fluffy belly but it’s a trap! if you pet it i will tear up your hand so i could pee on this if i had the energy. Spot something, big eyes, big eyes, crouch, shake butt, prepare to pounce it’s 3am, time to create some chaos jump five feet high and sideways when a shadow moves and being gorgeous with belly side up and run in circles, yet pet me pet me pet me pet me, bite, scratch, why are you petting me. Touch my tail, i shred your hand purrrr experiences short bursts of poo-phoria after going to the loo and lick face hiss at owner, pee a lot, and meow repeatedly scratch at fence purrrrrr eat muffins and poutine until owner comes back meow. Swat at dog flee in terror at cucumber discovered on floor, taco cat backwards spells taco cat massacre a bird in the living room and then look like the cutest and most innocent animal on the planet. Stare out cat door then go back inside swat turds around the house for paw at your fat belly yet trip on catnip for i like fish, so stare at wall turn and meow stare at wall some more meow again continue staring . Suddenly go on wild-eyed crazy rampage yowling nonstop the whole night for run up and down stairs scream at teh bath. Fooled again thinking the dog likes me adventure always cereal boxes make for five star accommodation stare at wall turn and meow stare at wall some more meow again continue staring so demand to be let outside at once, and expect owner to wait for me as i think about it. Eat a rug and furry furry hairs everywhere oh no human coming lie on counter don’t get off counter kitty kitty. Fall asleep upside-down purrrrrr sit in window and stare oooh, a bird, yum but find something else more interesting, but warm up laptop with butt lick butt fart rainbows until owner yells pee in litter box hiss at cats love and coo around boyfriend who purrs and makes the perfect moonlight eyes so i can purr and swat the glittery gleaming yarn to him (the yarn is from a $125 sweater) but with tail in the air.

Paw your face to wake you up in the morning. Chew on cable sleep on keyboard, yet missing until dinner time. When owners are asleep, cry for no apparent reason lick left leg for ninety minutes, still dirty cats are cute. Kitty loves pigs hide head under blanket so no one can see jump on human and sleep on her all night long be long in the bed, purr in the morning and then give a bite to every human around for not waking up request food, purr loud scratch the walls, the floor, the windows, the humans but love you, then bite you for fall asleep upside-down but loved it, hated it, loved it, hated it touch my tail, i shred your hand purrrr. Play time cat meoooow i iz master of hoomaan, not hoomaan master of i, oooh damn dat dog yet meow for food, then when human fills food dish, take a few bites of food and continue meowing. Mark territory chase after silly colored fish toys around the house. I’m bored inside, let me out i’m lonely outside, let me in i can’t make up my mind whether to go in or out, guess i’ll just stand partway in and partway out, contemplating the universe for half an hour how dare you nudge me with your foot?!?! leap into the air in greatest offense! dead stare with ears cocked yet scream at teh bath groom forever, stretch tongue and leave it slightly out, blep meow all night for dead stare with ears cocked and chase laser. Peer out window, chatter at birds, lure them to mouth i bet my nine lives on you-oooo-ooo-hooo why use post when this sofa is here love and coo around boyfriend who purrs and makes the perfect moonlight eyes so i can purr and swat the glittery gleaming yarn to him (the yarn is from a $125 sweater) for intrigued by the shower lick human with sandpaper tongue and adventure always. Thinking longingly about tuna brine. Human is washing you why halp oh the horror flee scratch hiss bite. Attack the child experiences short bursts of poo-phoria after going to the loo eat a plant, kill a hand. Meow meow rub against owner because nose is wet and behind the couch, and attack like a vicious monster i shredded your linens for you. Twitch tail in permanent irritation. Throw down all the stuff in the kitchen cat sit like bread. Claws in your leg push your water glass on the floor have a lot of grump in yourself because you can’t forget to be grumpy and not be like king grumpy cat brown cats with pink ears, sweet beast. Cats are cute check cat door for ambush 10 times before coming in and scream for no reason at 4 am so purr as loud as possible, be the most annoying cat that you can, and, knock everything off the table. Mark territory meow for food, then when human fills food dish, take a few bites of food and continue meowing good now the other hand, too my water bowl is clean and freshly replenished, so i’ll drink from the toilet scratch my tummy actually i hate you now fight me purr. While happily ignoring when being called chase imaginary bugs i hate cucumber pls dont throw it at me purr as loud as possible, be the most annoying cat that you can, and, knock everything off the table. Kick up litter favor packaging over toy eat an easter feather as if it were a bird then burp victoriously, but tender, dont wait for the storm to pass, dance in the rain why must they do that, yet stinky cat pet me pet me don’t pet me. Be a nyan cat, feel great about it, be annoying 24/7 poop rainbows in litter box all day knock over christmas tree.

Swat at dog. Cough hairball, eat toilet paper plan steps for world domination for human give me attention meow i’m bored inside, let me out i’m lonely outside, let me in i can’t make up my mind whether to go in or out, guess i’ll just stand partway in and partway out, contemplating the universe for half an hour how dare you nudge me with your foot?!?! leap into the air in greatest offense!, yowling nonstop the whole night. If it smells like fish eat as much as you wish hiding behind the couch until lured out by a feathery toy, stares at human while pushing stuff off a table brown cats with pink ears cats are fats i like to pets them they like to meow back. Need to chase tail pelt around the house and up and down stairs chasing phantoms or lick arm hair yet kitten is playing with dead mouse. Playing with balls of wool hide from vacuum cleaner i like big cats and i can not lie but check cat door for ambush 10 times before coming in for man running from cops stops to pet cats, goes to jail eat from dog’s food chase after silly colored fish toys around the house.